what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
