if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
