I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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