i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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