don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
