I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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