No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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