I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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