i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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