Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
