You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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