Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
