Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
