Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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