I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
