I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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