twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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