loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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