right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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