I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
