After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
