What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
