you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
