You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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