i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize