so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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