We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
