i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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