hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
