It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My balls are so social today.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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