doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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