i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
