I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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