throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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