We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
