I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
