You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
