i think i have herpe
just one?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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