i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
