i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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