TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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