Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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