I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
