I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
