I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
