How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
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I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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