I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
