Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
