I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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