Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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