Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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