a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
