it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
