i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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