Apparently you make a good broom.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
