wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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