when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We're too hungover to prance.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
