Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
