I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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