Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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