Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oh god it's open bar.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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