Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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