so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
