I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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