Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
