Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
