you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
