normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
