Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
