Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
