Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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